Silent me

Two years have passed, but things have changed so little...

My dear,

So you have experienced one of the most critical years of your life, and it is just the beginning of an arduous journey. The road is still long, and it is not at all smooth. There are times when you feel depressed and hopeless, thinking of your life as no more than an existence. There are times when you feel lonely and long  to receive some encouragement,  but at times you are horrible of being dependent on someone even emotionally. Some people have passed by your life, and some have gone forever. Some have brought you great joy, while some just hurt you so much. To some you want to say Thanks, while from some you expect an apology. It’s always hard to say “sorry”. It seems as if most people are afraid of admitting that they did something wrong, something that hurt others’ feeling, or something that questioned their conscience. You may feel remorse, and wonder if you are doing right or you are just letting the silly little stuff block your way to a promising destination. You are so worried about your future that you cannot think clearly anymore. You just dream of a life which is different from what you have lived for 21 years. But another year has gone, and it seems to change so little in you. You are still you of the last year, two years ago or ten years ago virtually. You sigh more often than smile. You don’t burst into tears but cry in silence. You read many books on positive thinking, yet it’s a long gap between theory and reality. You cannot put it into practice. You are under stress. You want to run away, going to a far place and making a brand-new start. You look down on what others consider “traditional value”. You see nothing but the fake in it. You don’t want to live such a life, to follow the well-trodden road, to pretend to be happy when you are not. You are not at all pleased with your way of living, of all the norms that are honored by others. People wear masks, thousands of marks that you cannot even tell their true colors. Who is good, who is bad? You just want to live a peaceful life, working hard and achieving something to your name. I understand all of that, dear. I see all the difficulties you have to overcome. That will not be easy, sure. But don’t give up. There’s still Me who is by your side. Just believe it’s gotta be alright. Live more and worry less.

Love,

IAYTS ( I am your true self.)